Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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