i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
