I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
