What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
