She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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