Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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