Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
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Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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