I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
