What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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