As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
