did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
