you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When did angry sex become our thing?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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