just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
