My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
