Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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