Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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