is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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