If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
