Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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