Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize