About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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