And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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