never play flip cup with pint glasses
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
