none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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