I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
