And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
