so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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