There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
