I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
