Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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