i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
