after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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