Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
