im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
