I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
