do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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