so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
