he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
