Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
