I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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