My cat gives me a boner
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
