I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
