You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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