You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
