Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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