The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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