I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
