omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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