nut hugger
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
