Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
