I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
of course. lets lasso hookers.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
