called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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