shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
