I don't think brook has ever known best
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
