Just took my morning after pill in the library
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
