My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize