i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
