how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
im on a boat
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