dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
