i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
