Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
