This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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