it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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