where am i from again
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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