I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
